Stop Talking and Start Communicating

Let’s cut to the truth most people are talking just to talk. They’re speaking to express, not to connect. They want to be heard, but not necessarily understood. And that’s exactly where communication breaks down.

At Thrive Now, we’re driven by one principle:

“The study of successful behaviours to inspire action.”

When it comes to communication, one of the most powerful behaviours you can develop is this:

Take full responsibility for how your message is received.

Because in every conversation whether with your partner, your boss, your kids, or your team how you communicate changes everything.

Think of communication as a spectrum.

At one end, you have military-style communication:

• Direct
• Factual
• No emotion, no fluff
• Zero tolerance for ambiguity

It’s vital in high-stakes environments like aviation, emergency services, or combat zones where clarity literally saves lives. But apply that style to your personal relationships or team meetings? It can come across as cold, transactional, and disconnected.

At the other end, you’ve got emotion-driven conversation:

• Rich in feeling
• Personal and expressive
• Often spontaneous
• But sometimes vague and lacking direction

This is the “I just need to be heard” style of communication. It’s valuable for bonding and emotional release but without structure, it can create confusion, especially in high-performance environments.

So where’s the sweet spot?

Right in the middle.

• That’s where communication becomes:
• Purposeful but human
• Clear but caring
• Strategic but empathetic

It’s where connection thrives and results follow.

Here’s what most people underestimate: miscommunication isn’t just inconvenient it’s expensive and emotionally damaging.

• 65% of divorces are attributed to communication problems
• 86% of corporate failures are due to poor collaboration and communication
• Poor communication costs businesses an average of £420,000 per year (for companies with over 100 employees)
• In friendships and families, breakdowns in communication lead to stress, resentment, and withdrawal

Think about it. How many times have you said something with the best of intentions, only to have the other person:

• Misinterpret it?
• Get offended?
• Drop the ball because they misunderstood?

Chances are, they didn’t hear what you thought you said.

Which brings us to the fundamental truth, borrowed from NLP expert Tad James:

“The meaning of communication is in the response you get.”

If your words didn’t land the way you intended, that’s on you.

And once you accept that? You take back control.

When we speak just to release thoughts, it feels good in the moment. But if the goal is a shared outcome a project delivered, a decision made, a relationship strengthened you need more than expression. You need clarity.

That’s why at Thrive Now, we don’t just teach people how to talk we teach them how to connect.

We use the ACC Framework of Communication to help leaders, teams, and families shift from reactive talking to intentional, effective communication.

Born out of necessity in my own neurodiverse family where five out of six of us have a neurodiversity diagnosis the ACC Framework was created to reduce misunderstanding and create connection. What started as a tool to support neurodiverse communication is now transforming boardrooms, businesses, and relationships across the world.

Here’s how it works:

People don’t fall apart because they don’t care.

They fall apart because they feel:

• Misunderstood
• Unseen
• Unheard
• Disrespected by poor communication

Whether it’s your partner, your colleague, or your teenage son, people want to feel that you “get” them.

And when they don’t? They disconnect.

Here’s what I want you to remember:

• Talking is easy.
• Communicating with purpose takes courage.
• Owning how your message lands is leadership.

The ACC Framework helps you hit that powerful middle ground between cold command and chaotic expression. It allows you to communicate with clarity, compassion, and confidence the foundation of all high-performing teams and thriving relationships.

So next time you speak, ask yourself:

Am I talking just to be heard?
Or am I communicating to be understood?

That’s the shift. That’s the difference.
That’s the game-changer.

Let’s make it happen.
Let’s elevate our game.
Let’s study successful behaviours to inspire action every time we speak.

You’ve got this.

—
Kevin O’Reilly
Founder | Thrive Now Group
“The study of successful behaviours to inspire action.”